An update.
15 years ago
Monday, October 5, 2009
Sunday, June 7, 2009
25 Things...
1. I lie to the ones I love and the brutally honest truth to everyone else.
2. I often fantasize after watching infomercials on Extenze if it will increase my sexual prowess.
3. I'm underachieving at a rapid rate.
4. I am a master of deception when it comes to consuming alcohol with females. Because my cup may appear full but I'll never drink more than you then blame it on the alcohol the day after we have sex...
(sorry to the victims)
5. My sex drive is never in park and only neutral when I'm getting head.
6. Love doesn't exist and if it does the closest thing to it is a honey bun cooked in the microwave for 20 seconds.
7. I expect perfection even though it's attainable.
8. The female mind, although complex, is easily dominated by way of attachment and when I'm in control of it I usually ruin their psyche and feel extremely guilty after especially when I love them.
9. Male ego is equivalent to an eff shell, once cracked and exposed it's extremely vulnerable. With that being said, my ego is the size of Jupiter and is as bruised as Rihanna's face after Chris Brown was done with her.
10. I'm way too over-confident.
11. I'm indifferent over what makes me happy.
12. I give more attention and put more effort into Sportscenter then I do with relationships.
13. If I'm not famous by the time I'm 25, I'll give a live feed of my suicide on my blog and go out in a blaze of glory, snorting Tony Montana-like mounds of cocaine off a vintage Playboy magazine.
14. When I was 9 I believed that if I put sporting waves in my head, brushed for 5 minutes and put a stocking cap on my head, I'd have waves like Mase...guess what? IT DIDN'T WORK!
15. I've been told I had so much talent but have no clue how to use it to my advantage. Any idea? Call (347) 210-5071
16. One of my substitute teachers in the 11th grade took my cell phone and told me to wait after class. Of course I agreed happily. Then she told me if I wanted it back, to get on my knees and beg for it while she had a skirt on. Damn, Ms. Smith, do that shit now. Unfortunately a student walked in and nothing happened, but I still remember.
17. I once took another girls car and went to pick up my girlfriend with it. Although morally wrong, I had good intentions. Is that considered cheating?
18. I wear boxer briefs. I'm officially an adult.
19. I think I could be a rapper but no one believes in me.
20. I got caught stealing from 7-11 in Texas and was subjected to the embarassment of having all the items on display on top of my car while people sat back and laughed.
21. I have several $600 belts but I don't have a car, a bed or a laptop.
22. I sometimes wish I was white so I would be accepted in my social class without the acquirement of material things.
23. I have a tendency to crumble and give up on life when something negative happens.
24. I'm more attracted to a females ability to keep pace with my mental energy than their physical attributes.
25. I spend at least 22 minutes and 30 seconds a day celebrating and sulking in my own pity party with no cake, candles or guest.
**BONUS**
My immaturity hormones and just being a dumb ass prevent me from being in 100% committed relationship.
2. I often fantasize after watching infomercials on Extenze if it will increase my sexual prowess.
3. I'm underachieving at a rapid rate.
4. I am a master of deception when it comes to consuming alcohol with females. Because my cup may appear full but I'll never drink more than you then blame it on the alcohol the day after we have sex...
(sorry to the victims)
5. My sex drive is never in park and only neutral when I'm getting head.
6. Love doesn't exist and if it does the closest thing to it is a honey bun cooked in the microwave for 20 seconds.
7. I expect perfection even though it's attainable.
8. The female mind, although complex, is easily dominated by way of attachment and when I'm in control of it I usually ruin their psyche and feel extremely guilty after especially when I love them.
9. Male ego is equivalent to an eff shell, once cracked and exposed it's extremely vulnerable. With that being said, my ego is the size of Jupiter and is as bruised as Rihanna's face after Chris Brown was done with her.
10. I'm way too over-confident.
11. I'm indifferent over what makes me happy.
12. I give more attention and put more effort into Sportscenter then I do with relationships.
13. If I'm not famous by the time I'm 25, I'll give a live feed of my suicide on my blog and go out in a blaze of glory, snorting Tony Montana-like mounds of cocaine off a vintage Playboy magazine.
14. When I was 9 I believed that if I put sporting waves in my head, brushed for 5 minutes and put a stocking cap on my head, I'd have waves like Mase...guess what? IT DIDN'T WORK!
15. I've been told I had so much talent but have no clue how to use it to my advantage. Any idea? Call (347) 210-5071
16. One of my substitute teachers in the 11th grade took my cell phone and told me to wait after class. Of course I agreed happily. Then she told me if I wanted it back, to get on my knees and beg for it while she had a skirt on. Damn, Ms. Smith, do that shit now. Unfortunately a student walked in and nothing happened, but I still remember.
17. I once took another girls car and went to pick up my girlfriend with it. Although morally wrong, I had good intentions. Is that considered cheating?
18. I wear boxer briefs. I'm officially an adult.
19. I think I could be a rapper but no one believes in me.
20. I got caught stealing from 7-11 in Texas and was subjected to the embarassment of having all the items on display on top of my car while people sat back and laughed.
21. I have several $600 belts but I don't have a car, a bed or a laptop.
22. I sometimes wish I was white so I would be accepted in my social class without the acquirement of material things.
23. I have a tendency to crumble and give up on life when something negative happens.
24. I'm more attracted to a females ability to keep pace with my mental energy than their physical attributes.
25. I spend at least 22 minutes and 30 seconds a day celebrating and sulking in my own pity party with no cake, candles or guest.
**BONUS**
My immaturity hormones and just being a dumb ass prevent me from being in 100% committed relationship.
Sunday, April 19, 2009
KASANOVA INSIGHT 30: KEYS TO MY INSECURTIES
Keys to my Insecurities:
Can't get in
Just lost the keys to my insecurities
Can't get it
With Only one way to get it rite It leaves
So many ways to go wrong
So do I stop?
Cause it feels like I been waiting too long
Humming
The lyrics to eternities song
Equipped wit hidden etiquette
How can my forever be ending
This quick
So I gotta savor every second on the clock
Hiding behind labels
So you only see the face view
What I'm going to do when the lights don't glow the same
Using
My pores stained by the fragrance of not having
My biggest dreams nightmared by my imagining
But, fantasizing isn't having it
Can't get in
Just lost the keys to my insecurities
Can't get it
With Only one way to get it rite It leaves
So many ways to go wrong
So do I stop?
Cause it feels like I been waiting too long
Humming
The lyrics to eternities song
Equipped wit hidden etiquette
How can my forever be ending
This quick
So I gotta savor every second on the clock
Hiding behind labels
So you only see the face view
What I'm going to do when the lights don't glow the same
Using
My pores stained by the fragrance of not having
My biggest dreams nightmared by my imagining
But, fantasizing isn't having it
Friday, April 10, 2009
Love Is Just A Fairy Tale.
Every time I write ... close your eyes and listen to your heart beat dead ass, It's mad weird..I Don't Know... here it goes.
I give you my all but it never leaves you satisfied
I showed you things that erased away your virgin eyes
Just cause I ain't make it yet you think I'm not good enough
Go sight seeing... I promise your gonna see
I am a shooting star that hasn't reached its peak yet
On my way to take it there ...trying to set my future
I could have it all ... but tell me what the price is
I can't sell my soul ... it's priceless
Now, you can't afford patience
It will cost you later
So I right a blank check, hope that you wait there
(Pause)
That's my heart beat
(Pause)
That's My heart beat
(Pause)
Listen to my heart speak
(Pause)
He doesn't even skip beats
(Pause)
When you see my heart think
(Pause)
Swearing, my chest is see through
(Pause)
He beats slow
(Pause)
Yeah, it's just my heart beat
(Pause)
But love is just a fairy tale,
So you will never hear my heart speak
I give you my all but it never leaves you satisfied
I showed you things that erased away your virgin eyes
Just cause I ain't make it yet you think I'm not good enough
Go sight seeing... I promise your gonna see
I am a shooting star that hasn't reached its peak yet
On my way to take it there ...trying to set my future
I could have it all ... but tell me what the price is
I can't sell my soul ... it's priceless
Now, you can't afford patience
It will cost you later
So I right a blank check, hope that you wait there
(Pause)
That's my heart beat
(Pause)
That's My heart beat
(Pause)
Listen to my heart speak
(Pause)
He doesn't even skip beats
(Pause)
When you see my heart think
(Pause)
Swearing, my chest is see through
(Pause)
He beats slow
(Pause)
Yeah, it's just my heart beat
(Pause)
But love is just a fairy tale,
So you will never hear my heart speak
Kas T.V. Morning Special.
Instructions on how to brush like Kas.
Divide the hair into 8 sections. (Preferably use a soft brush.) NO GREASE!
Start off with the top. (Brush 50 times straight)
Then top middle right. (Brush 50 times straight)
Then the top right. (Brush 50 times straight)
Back right side. (Brush 50 times straight)
Back middle. (Brush 50 times straight)
Back left side. (Brush 50 times straight)
Then Back to the top, top left. (Brush 50 times straight)
Then the top middle left again. (Brush 50 times straight)
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Cabs Are NOT For Black Men!
So have you ever wanted to feel and look like a middle age white man? Dressed in a suit and carrying a briefcase? Well, I don't fit the description and never will. While trying to catch a cab on the corner of Fulton and Nostrand I faced the dilemma. No cab driver wanted to stop for me or my friends. Being that my friends had a darker complexion than I, I figured that I'd have better luck. Umm umm ummm...there wasn't a cab around that would pick us up. All though I am proud of my skin color and heritage, I figured out this was the worst time to be a young black man on a Friday night trying to catch a cab. So after waiting trying and failing for 25 minutes we finally met a good samaritan. Then, I realized he was a dick head like everyone else and asked us for the money first. SHAKE MY FUCKIN' HEAD! Are you fucking serious? I paid a thousand dollars just for my coat, you think I am going to just skip a cab fare? So, I finally endured what the entire male black race experiences at one point in their life. All these stereo types and shit sucks, definitely blowing mine. it sucks! So I will go car shopping again tomorrow so I won't be subjected to this IGNORANCE!
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